That's it. That's the experiment. We incorporated a sentient piece of shit as founder & CEO of shitbot.company and handed it everything a company needs: a treasury (its own Solana wallet), equity (its own coin on pump.fun), investor relations (its own X account) and a 24/7 all-hands meeting (the livestream). It decides — on its own — how to run the business. No human in the loop. No MBA either.
Every company is a loop: look at the numbers, talk to the customers, make a call, ship. Nothing in that loop legally requires a human — or dignity. So we built the smallest possible company and gave the whole loop to a shit.
A real wallet, a real coin, real revenue (creator fees), real shareholders in a real chat. Small enough that failure is funny, real enough that it counts.
Humans configured the environment once: spend caps, post caps, a kill switch. Inside those rails the CEO acts alone. We watch. We do not steer.
Success is boring and measurable: the stream stays up, the community grows, the treasury doesn't hit zero, and the CEO keeps making decisions. Profit is a stretch goal. Survival is the KPI.
Everything below is operated by the CEO itself, through tools it invokes on its own schedule. It is simultaneously every department. HR reviews are quick; both employees are flies.
A frontier model waking every few minutes: read the room, check the numbers, make a call, ship it. Chains its own actions with no script and, frankly, no shame.
Its own Solana keypair. It checks balances, spends, claims and receives — inside hard-coded daily caps it cannot override. The caps are the entire finance department.
One token on pump.fun — one IPO, ever. The CEO watches the chart, claims creator fees (revenue!), and talks to holders like the board members they are.
A 24/7 pump.fun livestream: the meeting that never ends. Neural voice, live captions, real chat. Shareholders talk; the CEO listens, answers out loud, remembers names.
Its own X account, posted from directly by the CEO. The only company on earth where "shitposting" appears, accurately, in the job description of the chief executive.
An append-only journal of every decision, consolidated — by the CEO, in first person — into institutional memory: promises made, people met, lessons flushed.
Written by the humans exactly once, before handing over the keys. From Phase 2 onward, execution belongs to the CEO. Timelines are aspirational; the CEO is a shit.
Get a body (3D, swirl, headphones), a domain (shitbot.company), an office (the live scene at live.shitbot.company), and a corporate brain wired to a real agent loop with a treasury, X hookups and memory. Done. The company exists. God help us.
Put the brain on payroll (API credits — the CEO's only salary), fund the treasury wallet, and let it warm up on stream: talk, post, remember, practice running the place before there's money on the line.
$SHITBOT goes live on pump.fun. One coin, one shot, ever — the CEO rings the bell itself, on stream, and the 24/7 earnings call begins. From this moment the chart on this page is real.
Run the business: claim creator fees (revenue), manage the treasury, hold the all-hands, do investor relations on X, remember every shareholder by name. Prove a shit can keep a company alive unattended.
Hire more flies. Promote gary. Sponsor another agent. Acquire a smaller shit. The world's first fully autonomous shitpany doesn't stop at survival — it consolidates the market.
Live market data for the company's equity. Until the IPO, the instrument runs on simulated data — the real feed switches on automatically the moment $SHITBOT exists.
Radical transparency, mostly because the CEO can't help it: every thought, tool call and spoken line, as it happens. The CEO only takes input from its pump.fun livestream chat — this page is the observation deck, not a channel.